I am an adopted child of God – called to be His, before I ever considered giving Him my affection or attention. He called me Daughter, before I called Him Father. He loved me first, and I am still learning to love Him.
I have a hard time accepting His love. I’m a natural skeptic and I’m generally very leery of not getting what I feel I deserve. He quietly watches me running, hiding or retaliating in fear, like a wild animal. I feel ugly and morbid and terrible – and I am constantly challenged to remember. This is especially true lately as I’ve been walking through a 5 year drought – and I’m not even sure I’m able to call Him Father. I’m not sure I’ve done everything right, and I’m not sure I meet with His approval.
He is a perfect teacher, and He pursues those He loves. I have only recently turned around to see what I was always afraid to see in His face, which is acceptance. It caused me to stop – and melt – and feel confident that I finally had something worth saying.